This last week has been a tough one on me! Imagine you are an alcoholic and it is New Year's Eve, you are at the bar but you aren't allowed to take one sip of alcohol; how bout if you love to smoke weed and you are in Amsterdam but cannot, whatever the analogy is that you want to use. That is this week for me.
The NCAA conference tournaments and than the big dance is the absolute grandest time for a bettor, way more exciting than the Super Bowl. There are games all day every day for several weeks and this is the first time in 20 years that I haven't and won't be betting any games which will no doubt make me depressed but I am going to try to watch the games and find a team to pull for regardless (It won't be Oklahoma as they stink since Blake Griffin left).
I am playing a couple of 45 man sit n gos right now and I just got coolered with 12 left and I had to laugh because I was getting to the crazy part of my week that I still cannot believe happened. First of all, this persons name won't be divulged so don't ask but it has become commonplace for poker players to say FML (fuck my life) or say I wanna die but I was chatting on aim with a friend recently who told me that he was going to kill himself. I didn't think too much about it as I had heard it before from him but something told me this was different so I asked him if he was okay, can I do anything , etc and he just said he really didn't want to live anymore and that he had bought a rope and told me he loved me and wished me good luck.
At this point I got worried so I tried to talk to him some more and he just talked about how bad everything is , mostly about finances and just feeling alone. He then told me how together his sister has it all and boy can I relate to this. Both our sisters lives in a beautiful homes, have what seems like the perfect family, and neither have money issues which I know is huge when you yourself have them. I find it so funny when somebody with money says that money won't make you happy, it might be the dumbest comment someone ever came up with and people with it don't realize how bad it is for people who do not have it. Back to the task at hand, I am pleading with him to not hurt himself because there are people who love him and I know from reading and studies how suicide really haunts those left behind. He was having none of it and when we talked on the phone (thank God he picked up this time) he was crying uncontrollably more than I have ever heard anyone weep. He then hung up, logged off his computer and it was at this moment when I had to decide what to do. He lives a long way away from me and I had to make a snap judgment as to whether or not he was serious and I decided that I would rather him hate me and be alive than me not say shit and regret it for the rest of my life so I picked up the phone and called the police where he lives and once I got through getting asked 20 questions by the operator (wtf is wrong with those people anyways?) , they sent out a couple policemen to check on him. I got a phone call back about an hr later (felt like a day) from the police and they made my friend talk to me and he was okay but had drank 2 full bottles of wine and anything else he had at his place. I also contacted his sister whose name I knew online and talked to her and he is not going to be left alone for quite awhile. I talked to her at length and it seems as though she really cares about her brother and I know if my sister had a friend contact her that she would drop everything as well and make sure I was ok which is nice to know.
Although everyone who battles depression and suicidal tendencies has different reasons, I wanted to share this link with you because I used to believe that those who took their own life were selfish pricks and after reading this I have a totally different view.
I also have a friend in Vegas who said she had 3 friends commit suicide in less than a weeks time recently and while I know it is Vegas , this just made me sick to my stomach as I only know 1 person who has taken their own life (for those of you who remember Brandi).
As far as what I have planned now I am looking into possible backers for the World Series of Poker which I do not want to miss for the first time in 10 years,especially after having my 2nd best finish last year (15th in $2500 HA) and am anxious to get finally get my first bracelet to go along with my WSOP circuit ring. Good luck all
